So in my last post although I did correctly quote Beyonce, I incorrectly quoted Jay-Z. On another note I did notice that a lot of people looked at my blog because of the tag “panty”. Props.
The incorrectly quoted Jay-Z lyrics got me thinking about dogs though. Especially the wonderous yet horrifying HOG DOG.
HOG DOG lives in my neighbor’s backyard….sometimes. Most of the time it is gone. Where? I don’t know. Probably hibernating under someones bed. But when I do see it I am enamored and frightened.
HOG DOG probably weighs 50 pounds and stands 3 inches off the ground. It has black and grey hide. I do not think hog dog can see but it knows when you are there. Although I am normally a safe distance away (on my balcony three stories up), when I come out to observe the rare sight it barks in my directions. I hesitate to keep on watching and eventually return inside my apartment out of fear…fear for my life.
When HOG DOG is present, it often rolls in the dust that makes up my neighbor’s backyard. I once took a cell phone video of it. It was cool.
Many people ask, “How old is HOG DOG?”. I would say probably 35 years old. Then I tell people they have to realize that this estimation is in common human years. In dog years? That is approximately 250 years old.
Who owns HOG DOG? I would find it highly unlikely that the neighbors actually possess any ownership over HOG DOG. HOG DOG most likely has lived on the land before any sedentary human life existed in Los Angeles. Perhaps nomadic bands once followed the HOG DOG. This is pure speculation on my part though.
If you would like to see HOG DOG, I am offering $10 guided tours from my apartment. I will also discuss the life of the roach on this tour. Advanced reservations are suggested.
