“Ohhh nooo,” whispered David to himself. He regretted turning down the offer of a plastic bag at the grocery store while buying a pack of toilet paper and a twelve pack of beer. David was in the strange juxtaposition of wanting to help the environment by not taking any unnecessary plastic bags while shopping but also having a dog that he picked up afterwards. See, not picking up after your dog’s poop is bad for the environment. After it rains, the bacterial runoff escaping dog excrement deteriorates the quality of our oceans and streams.
Now his dog was taking a poo on the pier and at this moment David realized that he had forgot to grab a plastic bag before leaving the house. But there were never any damn plastic bags in his house. After searching his house for a couple of minutes, David would soon become frustrated and leave with his dog without a plastic bag. David hoped his dog would walk into some shrubs and crap. This happened sometimes and David was happy. But there were also times like today when his dog would simply walk for too long…
You can’t force a dog to poo. And David knew this. That is why every time he left the house without a bag he knew anything could happen. ANYTHING. Besides the environmental impact of dog poo, David also feared having to deal with someone racing out of their house enraged by the fact a dog had just took a shit on their lawn. Old people were the best at this.
Two months previously David had been walking as his dog started to take a shit on a neighbor’s yard. David had even felt safe because this time he had brought a bag. There was no room for conflict he thought. The neighbor would angrily approach but then see him taking a bag out of his back pocket to pick up his dog’s mess. They would eventually chat about the neighborhood. David even imagined perhaps he would be invited to a Super Bowl party.
But this went differently then expected. His dog began to shit. David began to take out his bag but before the dog was done, an old man came yelling out the door. David tried to explain “I’m going to pick it up.” As the man kept on yelling, David tried to explain louder “I’M GOING TO PICK IT UP!!!!”. The old man rambled on about how he had seen them before pissing on his lawn and he had watched for too long and finally he was going to do something about it. David had never seen this man before or known of his rage. He tried to explain that if he would have known but the old man just kept on yelling. David pulled his dog away from the old man and left without picking up the poo as well. He always avoided that old man’s lawn after that.
David began to have flashbacks as his dog shit on the pier. How could this be happening? “You’ve never taken a shit this late in the walk….” whispered David to his dog. Trying to avoid the stares of onlookers and fishermen, they continued on their walk.
Tags: dog poo, picking up dog poo, platic bags, poo
