New Gorton’s Fisherman Campaign puts the “fishy” in fish sticks

Call me a sick poor loser but I will still tell you I love fish sticks. The problem today is that fish sticks are no longer very en vogue… probably because they cause gout.   It’s more likely that mom yells “Shut up and eat your bok choy” at young Johnny than serves up a tray of fish product, well at least if you live in California.  That’s why I was intrigued to see how Gorton’s would market their frozen fish products in their latest ad campaign called “Trust the Gorton’s Fisherman”.   If you’re not familiar with the campaign yet please see below:

Like I already mentioned I do like fish sticks.  This commercial is preaching to the choir and has to produce a fisherman that I only somewhat adequately have to trust.  Instead, this is the type of commercial that makes me doubt my convictions in buying fish sticks.

The first thing I don’t trust about this Gorton’s Fisherman?  His perfectly pruned beard.  I’m just not going to trust a fisherman unless he has a 2 foot long beard with wet cigarette butts hanging out.  I mean all the fisherman in this commercial look like they work aboard the Love Boat.  They probably also all have golden shower naughty tapes with under-aged children (I forgive you R. Kelly).  Judging by their facial expressions they are on a harbor cruise in the Bahamas.  When did commercial fishing turn into a quaint activity? I’m sorry but I don’t trust fishermen unless they are crusty old seadogs in a continual state of pissedoffishniss.

Second reason I don’t trust the Gorton’s Fisherman: Why the shit would you eat frozen microwavable seafood when you’re in the middle of the ocean? I’m sure I would be in heaven eating reheated scampi when I just spent the previous eight hours hauling in 8,000 pounds of fish.  I’m convinced at this point in the commercial that all the fishermen aboard this vessel are sado-masochists as well.  I understand Gorton’s is trying to channel some sort of image of authenticity through this campaign (they make a big deal of “Trusted since 1849″ on their website),  but can they at least try to make a commercial that looks a little bit less like it was shot with 1849 reasoning.

Now the final question I must ask?  Why does the Gorton’s captain look eerily like comedian Bob Odenkirk? Beneath a shiny, yellow fisherman suit and a fake beard, I truly believed that Bob Odenkirk was trying to hawk me fish sticks.  After watching this commercial, I felt that I had unwittingly looked into the portal of severe insanity.